{"id":122,"date":"2014-03-21T15:54:56","date_gmt":"2014-03-21T15:54:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.livinginsidethetestimony.com\/blog\/?p=122"},"modified":"2014-03-21T16:17:01","modified_gmt":"2014-03-21T16:17:01","slug":"how-i-came-to-know-i-had-faith-on-world-down-syndrome-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livinginsidethetestimony.com\/blog\/how-i-came-to-know-i-had-faith-on-world-down-syndrome-day\/","title":{"rendered":"How I Came to Know I Had Faith (on World Down Syndrome Day)"},"content":{"rendered":"

If I was confronted with devastating news that dramatically changed my life forever, would I remain steadfast in my faith in God?<\/p>\n

Would you still have faith to believe if you had to endure an unwanted situation which you felt God should have spared you from having to go through because you are a born-again believer?<\/p>\n

In observance of today being World Down Syndrome Day, I decided to feature a guest author who had to answer that question for herself. In an article she wrote entitled, \u201cHow I Came to Know I Had Faith,\u201d Julia Gray, an award-winning author, takes us to the delivery room where she is faced with the daunting realization that her 9th<\/sup> child was born with Down syndrome.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>This story, along with many more, will be released next year as the 4th<\/sup> book in my series. But for now, let\u2019s see how Julia came to know she had faith.<\/p>\n

Excerpt below from The Book about James<\/i><\/strong>, Written by Julia Gray, the Mother of James<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though numerous ultrasounds had been performed on me throughout my pregnancy, not only did we have no idea of the sex of our baby, we certainly did not know that he would be born with Down syndrome.\u00a0 It understandably came as quite a shock and, as I have said many times, I was not pleased, with great emphasis on the word \u201cnot.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor and the nurse who were present seemed to have no concerns, and all seemed like a typical birth.\u00a0 I was at a disadvantage from my very vulnerable position and couldn\u2019t tell too much about what was going on, but I had pretty strong concerns.\u00a0 James was not crying out like newborns usually do.\u00a0 Everything seemed much too calm and quiet.<\/p>\n

The nurse had placed James in that little plastic baby bed, and as she moved out of my view, I could see James for the first time.\u00a0 He was in profile, and I immediately saw what was undeniable, but I hoped was not true.\u00a0 I calmly asked, \u201cDoes he have Down syndrome?\u201d\u00a0 I asked calmly hoping with all my heart they would just laugh at my ridiculous question.\u00a0 You know, newborns have been through a lot and that can really alter their appearance.\u00a0 Maybe that was it.<\/p>\n

The nurse did respond very sincerely but with a little giggle, \u201cNow, why would you say that?\u201d\u00a0 That didn\u2019t help like I had hoped it would.\u00a0 Even though I didn\u2019t want to accept it and wanted to continue in the denial, deep down, I knew.\u00a0 My dearest husband only confirmed my fears in his response, \u201cWell, look at him.\u201d<\/p>\n

OK, a side note on Kevin\u2019s response because I don\u2019t want anyone to think he was some kind of jerk in that life altering moment.\u00a0 My beloved is just a matter of fact kind of guy.\u00a0 I\u2019ve often said, \u201cHis last name might be Gray, but he sees everything as black or white \u2013 right or wrong.\u201d\u00a0 He is a man of absolutes.\u00a0 He could respond like that because he already knew that whatever the Lord had given him that is what he would accept.\u00a0 Later, you will see how he helped me get to that point too.\u00a0 Just another reason I am so thankful he is going through this life with me.<\/p>\n

Back to me\u2026In the next few hours, I wrestled with what I knew to be true.\u00a0 I wanted to escape.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want this to be part of our lives.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to be in this club!\u00a0 Rapidly the scenarios ran through my mind, terrible scenarios.\u00a0 I could run away leaving my husband and other children behind.\u00a0 I could abandon James.\u00a0 I could smother him.<\/p>\n

Are you shocked?\u00a0 Are you horrified that I would even think that for a moment?\u00a0 Well I did.\u00a0 Just for a very brief moment, but yes I did.\u00a0 I felt trapped, devastated, crushed.<\/p>\n

Then a peace came over me.\u00a0 A very shaky peace but boy, did I need even a shred of light at that time.\u00a0 I began to realize that I was prepared for this.\u00a0 God had already laid the foundation for me to be able to withstand this next trial.\u00a0 Even though I wanted to throw a tantrum and reject this trial, I knew that I would and could go through it no matter how badly I did not want this to be in my life!<\/p>\n

The memory of sitting in Bible study one Tuesday morning years ago came to me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember exactly what we were studying, but I do remember that we were discussing how God will send trials into the lives of those he loves.\u00a0 I do remember being troubled by the thought that my life had been one of relative ease and that I really had not had trials.\u00a0 The trials I had experienced were ones caused by my own sins, and I just didn\u2019t think those even counted.\u00a0 Even more troubling to me was that God might decide he loved me very much and start sending trials.\u00a0 This seemed to be a situation I just could not win.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to be on either side of that coin.\u00a0 My theology may have been shaky, but it is how I felt.\u00a0 This led me to wonder if I even truly had faith.\u00a0 If I was confronted with a serious trial would I still even trust in God?\u00a0 This question nagged at me for a while but would be solved one dark December day as you will see.<\/p>\n

It was December 23, 2003.\u00a0 Just the day before we had buried our daughter, Meredith.\u00a0 She had been only an infant, a perfect infant in the eyes of the world.\u00a0 She would have suffered none of the problems that we were worried James would suffer.\u00a0 Yet, she was dead and buried.<\/p>\n

During her funeral, that had certainly been dreaded, I felt such a calm sense of joy.\u00a0 There had been a happiness and supernatural peace.\u00a0 But as I stared out into our yard this next day, there was no peace.<\/p>\n

The day was cold, rainy, and overcast, just dreary.\u00a0 My heart broke as I realized my daughter, the baby I should be protecting and caring for, was in the ground out in this terrible weather.\u00a0 What kind of mother leaves her child in such conditions?!\u00a0 Then, in a flash, peace surrounded me once again.<\/p>\n

She was not out there alone, in that forlorn ground.\u00a0 She was there in body only.\u00a0 My baby was in heaven with her true Father.\u00a0 A much better place than my aching, empty arms, indeed!\u00a0 In that moment, in that divine moment I realize that I did have faith.\u00a0 Faith that got me through that time in my life was faith that would get me through many more situations to come \u2013 including accepting James.<\/p>\n

For more information about World Down Syndrome Day, click here.<\/a><\/p>\n

For more information about Julia’s upcoming book, click here.<\/a><\/p>\n

Click pictures below to enlarge for easy viewing.<\/p>\n

\"James<\/a>

James, far right, along with 5 of his siblings. YES, Julia, you do have faith!!! The proof is in the picture.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"James<\/a>

Today, James is a “superstar” at school. He was chosen as the only student featured on this 2014 poster promoting his school’s fundraising gala and auction.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Kevin,<\/a>

Kevin, the father of James, with 6 of his children. (James, far left, with arm around his brother’s neck.) Can you look at these happy, adorable faces and not have faith?<\/p><\/div>\n

An editorial comment from Betty<\/strong><\/em>: I saw a post Julia made on Facebook about her husband, and I had to borrow it. \u201cRight after James was born and I was so NOT happy about the whole Down syndrome thing, Kevin said something like, ‘Big deal. I bet he won’t be a Jerk. You can’t test for that.’ I immediately felt better.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wow! I knew right then that Kevin was a keeper. After thinking about James, I started thinking about \u201cThe Book of James\u201d in the bible, which is an example of practical advice and wisdom, consisting largely of moral precepts and examples. Then I started thinking about how inspirational it would be if Julia would take all of the wisdom and revelations she has learned over the past 6 years and write a book about James. But then I started thinking about the thousands of books which have already been written about Down syndrome. What else can possibly be said about raising a child with Downs?<\/span><\/p>\n

Immediately, the answer came to me. No one has ever written a book about James.\u00a0 The biblical James calls himself \u201ca servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.\u201d Julia calls her son James \u201ca gift I never wanted yet now can\u2019t believe I was blessed enough to receive.\u201d I simply call it the beginning of the book about James. It\u2019s certainly not your ordinary book about Down syndrome, nor is it a sappy book written by a mother professing her unconditional love and devotion to a child born with special needs.\u00a0 Although Julia is a Christian with very strong beliefs and faith in God, you will not find this to be a preachy book with mini-sermons on unconditional love and child rearing the Lord\u2019s way. Instead what you will find is a remarkable and heartfelt story of being given a gift you never thought you wanted, only to discover you cannot imagine living without. In an Erma Bombeck sort of way, Julia\u2019s uncanny sense of humor will take you on a spiritual journey of what was first thought of as a terrible tragedy. The roller coaster of emotions and adjectives that come to mind will engulf you from the very beginning, and you will soon find yourself mesmerized and fully engulfed by her passion and love. Look for The Book about James<\/strong><\/em>, coming in 2015.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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